The Universe Works in Strange Ways

So often I hear my patients asking, “Why?” I hear myself ask the same thing at times, when our life is interrupted by events out of our control. These events sometimes knock us down so violently that we have to pick ourselves up and brush ourselves off and start all over again. As a writer as well as a therapist, the “whys” seem to congregate and occasionally form a wall that we call “writers block.” “Why can’t I write? What is going on? How do I get out of this?”

Little did I know when my husband, Charles Whitfield, and I started out writing The Power of Humility: Choosing peace over conflict in relationships, that I was going to find my answer to many of my whys and actually see it clearly. As the book evolved, so did a clear picture of how our ego collect conflicts and resentments to strengthen its hold on us. Our ego needs conflict to stay strong. In writing The Power of Humility, I learned to disengage from my ego and transcend to a peaceful existence where my ego couldn’t go. In that “peaceful place,” my ego couldn’t trick me into identifying with it if I was confronted with a relationship that was begging to pull me into a painful experience. In fact, my method worked so well that I had to write another book about all this as I watched my relationships with Charlie, our adult kids and even God transcend to a place I had longed for since a near-death experience 33 years ago.

The Natural Soul poured out because it is a continuation of the reality I experienced when I almost died. Only this reality I am explaining is not in another dimension. The Natural Soul is about living here in this reality. It’s my own experiences of disengaging my world from my soul. It’s about helping souls coming in to this dimension and helping souls going out again. It’s about living an authentic life from the deepest part of our heart or spirit. Our ego suffers because it resists pain. Our soul takes in what is happening in a way that allows for pain to help us learn and move through it. Our ego freezes in a depressed state. Our soul understands how to move through pain, which then transforms into a bittersweet renewal.

And, for me, it appears so far that when I come from this depth in my self, the words pour out. My writing becomes a steady stream of my truth. Without energizing my ego, there is nothing to trick me into writer’s block anymore.

The Map

These two books are really a map of transcendence. They show us how to use our relationships as our spiritual path. The Power of Humility can be summed up by the simple map below.

We start with Level 1, Conflict, which is where humans have been bumping around forever. This map then points us up to Level 2 Co-commitment, where we realize we have choices. We don’t have to accept painful and often disabling conflict in relationships anymore. By using the power of humility in this way, we transcend either/or thinking and move up to both/and, which allows for infinite choices, so that our relationships can be peaceful. Then the empowered self of Level 2 is transformed into a Co-creative energy and action, which is Level 3. At this level of development, it’s as if God and we become partners. We sense the flow and perfection of God in our life, we act in ways that creatively manifest our now-expanded intent, and we love unconditionally while we do it.

Level 4 Unity includes and expands our awareness of what we call our Sacred Person: Soul or True Self, Higher Self and Higher Power or God. When we are totally alive and no longer need to spend any energy living from an ego or false self, living as our Sacred Person is Level 4 awareness and being. When we ask for help at this level, help comes almost immediately in ways we couldn’t have predicted. This help comes with integrity and tenderness. We are flooded with knowledge about ourselves, the other person or the relationship. We see the bigger picture. And the floodgates open for any creative endeavor.

The Natural Soul was pouring out of me while we were still editing The Power of Humility. And Charlie was having the same experience. He wrote The Truth about Depression and The Truth about Mental Illness while we were still writing the humility book.

So now, I welcome every new “why” because it becomes a doorway into a new article or chapter that keeps me enthralled with the strange way the Universe works.

Barbara Harris Whitfield is the author of five books and numerous articles on the near-death experience and natural spirituality. She is a near-death experiencer and respiratory and massage therapist. She spent six years at the University of Connecticut Medical School researching the psychological, emotional, and energetic after effects of spiritual awakenings and recently retired from teaching at Rutger’s Institute for Alcohol and Drug Studies. Barbara lives in Atlanta, Georgia with her husband, author and physician Charles Whitfield, MD. They share a private practice helping adults that were repeatedly traumatized as children. Barbara’s new book, The Natural Soul, will be coming out in 2009 with SterlingHouse Publisher. For more information go to http://www.cbwhit.com and http://www.barbarawhitfield.com